After months of careful research, and preening in front of mirrors at one in the morning, I have finally come to the conclusion that anyone with a camera in their hand, detests me.
They're nice enough as long as the camera is 10 feet away, but the moment the equipment touches their fingers, evil spirits take over, and they find themselves, through no fault of their own, compelled to click JUST as you raise your hand to scratch your nose, JUST as you blink, and JUST in that fraction of a second when you change your smile, so that the result looks like you're trying to wink with your mouth.
As you can see, you're always at a disadvantage. But then again, there are those few blessed souls who never find the need to scratch themselves, or apparently, blink. These are the ones who write books like "How to say cheese in a way to please". And while I'm sure they keep your best interests at heart, their recommendations in fact, aren't worth tuppence.
For example, they ask you to count to 3 and open your eyes, flashing a dazzling smile at the cameraman. The probability of you opening your eyes exactly at the moment the photographer clicks is 0.00151. The probability that he hasnt changed the position of the camera while you were closing your eyes dreaming about the wonderful picture you were going to have taken, is 0.00154. Basically, the probability of this rule working is equal to the probability of a one eyed rhino named Stevie being able to dance.
You CAN practice in front of a mirror, which SEEMS to be a very good idea. But the problem here is that when you're finally having your picture taken, you DONT have a mirror in front of you. So you're actually smiling what you ASSUME is a heart melter, when you might actually look like the newest addition to the Adams family.
I'm not one to sight problems without giving solutions. No siree that simply isn't my style. So here it is, all you unphotogenic people out there. The next time someone brings a camera near you...
DUCK.
17 comments:
wink with ur mouth?? now how does that work?
Stevie can dance ! he is a very gifted rhino and people who own pets called fernando will never be able to appreciate his talents
I can dance!! I can dance!!
@rooster
stand in front of a mirror and try to abruptly change ur smile. ull get the pic:)
@dudette
ahh she finally comments:) excuse me but atleast fernando behaved the way a bull OUGHT to behave. your stupid rhino was supposed to do stuff that disgraced its entire species.
@nuke
thanks!
@stevie
HA
"duck"
the pun was intended i presume
:D
hyuk hyuk hyuk im so funny !!!!
Duck??? :)
Anyway, ROTFL :)
Haha! Nice one di. :D
@paddy
hyuk hyuk :| thank u for reminding ppl who would have definitely forgotten
@anand
told u we shared the name:)and thanks!
@me
the story of my life only. thanks:)
brilliant!!! ROTFL:)!!!
nice!!! :)))
btw - can i see the pictures that inspired this??!!! :D :D :D :P
good one da! and paddy did a grt job too!
@anin
hehe thanks:)
@s
im milking my misfortune for what its worth. do NOT rub it in!
@vara
romba thevaiaa this congrats to paddy?! traitor:(
Good one!!! You can also try taking self portraits.. they help you practise..
and heard abt ur results, gusshow!
Good luck
@abhi
wow ur well informed! thanks:) self portraits dont work out cos im not good on either side of the camera:(
@dd
glasses ey? FINALLY a problem i dont share:) yipee
Ah i see what you mean!! The class picture always works out to be the worst though! That guy is so accurate, he knows you are going to blink at that exact moment!! Anyways, Awesome post!
if u duck...then wont the photographer get a pic of u ducking??and wont it just not ahve ne,..u get the picture{he he}
@namrita
i know:) ur my partner in misery
@harish
its just a choice of bad vs worse..your pick.
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